Your window of tolerance: why your body holds on when your mind has let go
You might know the feeling. Your shoulders are up around your ears before you've noticed. Your chest tightens when a certain name comes up on your phone. You've talked things through, maybe more than once, and you understand why you feel the way you do. But understanding hasn't made it stop.
That gap between knowing and feeling is where I do a lot of my work.
Why talking isn't always enough
Stress, anxiety and hard experiences don't only live in our thoughts. They show up in how we breathe, how we sleep, how our muscles hold themselves, and how quickly we startle or shut down. The nervous system learns to protect us, and sometimes it keeps protecting long after the danger has passed.
When that happens, trying to think your way out can feel like pushing against a locked door. Working with the body as well as the mind gives you another way in.
The window of tolerance
One idea I often share with clients is the window of tolerance. It's the zone where you can feel things without being flooded by them or going numb. Above it, you might feel panicky, irritable or on edge. Below it, you might feel flat, foggy or disconnected. Most of us move in and out of it through the day. When life has been hard for a long time, that window can get very narrow.
A big part of therapy is gently widening it, so that more of life feels manageable.
How I work
I'm a counsellor, an occupational therapist and a clinical hypnotherapist, and I bring those together rather than keeping them separate. Depending on what you need, sessions might include:
Talking things through at your pace, while paying attention to what's happening in your body as you do
Noticing the early signs that you're moving out of your window, and practical ways to come back into it
Sensory and regulation strategies from my occupational therapy background, for when your system feels overloaded
Hypnotherapy to help your body learn a felt sense of calm and safety, not just the idea of it
Nothing is forced. We go at a pace that feels safe, and you stay in charge of what we explore.
If you'd like more time, I also offer a longer in-person Deep Regulation Session in Enniskillen.
Other mind-body approaches
You may also come across yoga therapy, breathwork or mindfulness courses. Many people find these helpful, either alongside therapy or on their own. What matters most is finding something that feels approachable to you.
Taking a first step
I see clients in person at Enniskillen Business Centre and online across the UK. If you're wondering whether this might help, you can book a free call. It's a chance to ask questions and get a feel for whether we're a good fit, with no commitment.
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